Love is blind?
As I embrace 2020 and Month 11 of my new Italian life, I seem to be asking myself this question a lot lately. Also, having celebrated yet another inescapable birthday this month, it only seems appropriate to reflect on my life, the people I’ve met, cities I’ve visited, and my activities and endeavors here in Salerno, not to mention my overall feelings of the stress of living and adapting in a foreign country. My time thus far hasn’t been all La Dolce Vita…in fact, sometimes far from it. It’s more like a reality show with the contestants being pumped up on way too much black caffe and going through the day dodging kama kazi motorinis (don’t eat that extra biscotti or you’ll feel the breeze on your butt as you take cover in a doorway), sanitation trucks at 4:30am that leave half their trash on the sidewalk (never look up at the pretty buildings- or you could lose your life on a half-eaten slice of Margarita pizza.)
In between getting hit on by young and old men alike, power walking on the lungomare is my favorite time of the day for thinking, analyzing, dialoguing, being grateful for another day of living exactly the kind of life I imagined while planning my exit from the U.S. It’s also a good time to look up new phrases on google translate like, ‘buzz off’ (politely, of course) or ‘I’m married and already have a boyfriend on the side, but thank you for asking’ ( I don’t, but even this response didn’t stop my last very persistent power walker suitor in his Fila track suit.)
Just like the beaches in Venice and Santa Monica, CA where I would go for an early morning walk or a sunset stroll to catch dolphins and sea lions, the lungomare helps me to clear the cobwebs out of my head and plan my day or how to organize a couple of the projects that are in the beginning stages.
I never seem to get tired of the view: the hills constantly change color from a cold and rainy silver grey to a verdant panorama that always distracts me from my oh-so-important contemplations. I never knew why writers or people in general would comment favorably on a perfect cloudless blue sky. To me, clouds are far more interesting and, thankfully, we have an abundance of them here. They reveal the weather without having to confirm it on an app. What a concept! Then, of course, there’s the wind. Italians are as afraid of the wind as I am of frizzy hair in the summertime humidity. Sitting by a restaurant door is too risky, dressing without a scarf, well, you’re just asking for trouble, sister. But to me, the wind signals movement, that the earth is alive and greeting me with a sweet ‘buona giornata’. However, (always the realist) the soft and sometimes violent wind not only whips around corners to make your hair stick to your lip gloss, but also carries the germs of the city with every woosh…possibly the reason I was sick with the cough from hell for three months when I first arrived.
Los Angeles rarely had any precipitation, especially not even a good windy day. So, yes, I’m still in love with that part of living here and acquiring different clothes for different meteorological activity-umbrellas, hats, gloves and boots-bring them on ! But don’t ask me about the summertime humidity. I’ll complain until the cows come home- they’re even probably too hot to tell you how hot it was. This would be one of the non La Dolce Vita aspects of life in Italy. Air conditioning has slowly made its debut, and I found the large and small chain stores will actually have it and use it. I bought many useless things just to cool down and breathe. Homes, however, are hit and miss. Many Italians do not like, and simply will not use the a/c. I only visited Italy once in the summertime and that was at eighteen or nineteen before I knew any better. The rest of the visits were in the spring, autumn or winter. You’ve been forewarned.
Since we have very pronounced precipitation, unlike L.A. where you can plan an event a year in advance and still be gifted with a perfectly sunny day, these changes make all the difference when one gives up their car and chooses to walk or use public transportation for every errand or event that’s on the agenda. To backtrack for a moment, I grew up a tough cookie in N.Y. and then got soft around the edges after moving to L.A. and lived within the protection of my car bubble for many years. There, friends would cancel going to a movie if we had a little drizzle. Here, the show goes on. I’ve gotten soaked-with an umbrella-walking ten minutes away to the caffe bar in a downpour. In non La Dolce Vita land, there is no valet guy holding my door open to escape the raindrops.
Yes, life is more real here….a little more difficult…but more real. Yessss !! Exactly what I wanted. I wanted to feel alive, to feel the world moving around me and to feel like I was a part of it…to feel like I could see, hear, taste and smell the humanity. These sensorial desires do not let me down. Every day I marvel at how many people I’ve connected with who seemingly understand what I’m saying-in Italian. What I’ve learned is that my Italian doesn’t have to be perfect, I just have to make my pronunciation clear and string together enough verbs and nouns to be understood. I don’t even care if I get laughed at. I just don’t want to get arrested !
Another sensory cultural difference to adapt to is the incredibly high decibel level of normal conversations. Sometimes I actually jump a couple of inches off the ground when I hear someone standing next to me, usually a woman casually speaking to a friend either in person or on the phone. Not everyone, but most people talk very loud. It can be unsettling, but I decided it’s an unavoidable but good way to pick up some new words and phrases. Repeat: lemons into lemonade. Rinse and repeat.
You might think I’m being complain-y here, but I’m thinking these musings are merely observations. As much as this adventure of mine has been a heavenly journey, I’ve had bouts of ‘why did I move here again??” mostly stemming from the language challenges. This is particularly true at social events where I can’t seem to express myself spontaneously in Italian, either happy or angry. No jumping into the middle of a conversation for me, no sir. I find myself listening more to conversations than trying to speak. I pray that someone will talk to me in the third grade Italian that I have reached after ten months of sweating it out in school and mixing my verb tenses that made my head spin like the Exorcist. How about going to the market and asking for a kilo of cheese please, which would feed a family of twelve for a year in any third-world country. (learning metric conversions-aiuto!) Also, I’ve been looking for an apartment and discovered more than once that the kitchen was missing. Did I understand this is the ads, no. But I do now. Sometime when they say unfurnished that almost includes the lightbulbs. Yes, tenants buy their own appliances-not always but some of the time-and then take them to their next apartment, leaving the current tenant to decide whether or not to deal with that particular nightmare. Strange, right? Breathe, breathe and breathe !
On a more positive note, life has blossomed in different ways. Never one to be afraid of a new challenge or adventure, I find I’m open to trying new things but now in a foreign language. Yikes! A few months ago, after missing my L.A. book club, well actually my friends in my book club, I started one here – in English. We have different levels of comprehension, so our first book had to be relatively simple. So first we chose The Four Agreements, then a Hemingway and now short stories by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Walt Whitman’s Leaves of Grass proved to be a little ambitious, especially since it was a compilation of over four hundred poems. We have a really nice group and opened it up to new members if anyone in Salerno is reading this.
Madonna is not the only Italian who can re-invent herself. I have two new projects I’m trying to get off the ground: a monthly Salerno Art/Walk, similar to the one in Venice, CA but scaled down for our little city/village focusing on our fantastic community of ceramic artists, photographers, fine artists and galleries. Everyone benefits from a fun event like this. I look forward to working with the artists’ community in pulling this all together and with anyone else who would like to join in.
Another project in the infancy stage is working with a group out of Florence called Angeli di Belli who help to remove graffiti and clean up the streets. The goal is for different groups to help beautify their neighborhoods and be proud of where they live. Graffiti and trash are problems here in the south of Italy. Not surprisingly, this is a highly politicized issue.
After strategically posting my English teacher fliers around town, I received some good responses. I’m now working privately with several students and loving it ! I’ve always enjoyed being a wordsmith in one way or another- writing my blog, other writing projects, and learning languages, so it all fits together nicely. Many Italians learned to speak English years ago in school but never have had the practice with a madre lingua teacher (mother tongue-that would be me.)
Also, in the last eleven months I looked high and low for a yoga class. I finally found a good fit recently with Anna-her beautiful space is in a building from 800a.d. (see the attached pictures) And a QiGong class with Ulla where I get lost every time I walk up in to the hills to her studio, which has a gorgeous view of the city and the hills. Also found a Buddhist community mostly for chanting, but again, I don’t participate in the discussions much. Listening is enough for now. And recently I was invited to take a ceramics class on Tuesdays, which would be fabulous, so I have to see how to fit that in with English lessons and the rest of the schedule.
Another fun project is my free Streetwalking in Salerno tours. The perfect target market are cruise ship passengers, where port stops are always for limited time periods. They’re really fun little tours through the historic old town, walking through the narrow alleys or going up into the hills, all customed tailored to each person’s interests and climbing abilities and then grab a caffe and do some serious people watching.
And finally…my blog, which I always enjoy writing, I just need that hook to start the first line. I have a lot of ideas for future blogs, and if there is any specific topic you’d like to read please feel free to contact me.
One of the many reasons I moved here was to travel mostly throughout Italy but also to other European countries and I’ve been doing some of that this past year to Liguria, Naples, Rome, Genoa, Amalfi Coast, small towns around Campagna and a little in Cilento– it’s never enough, though. The area around Perugia is at the top of my list, then the Veneto area – Verona, Vicenza and Padua. And recently I became infatuated with the idea of going to Malta-rich with history and great hiking.
So, here I am in Salerno, just shy of a year by one month, and to answer my own question….YES, I’M STILL IN LOVE WITH ITALY ! The natural beauty, the history, art and architecture, the food and the people, not necessarily in that order. Yes, it can be inexplicably illogical at times and my hair will still probably frizz this summer, but with every turn I still marvel at the stories these old buildings could tell and the beauty of every frescoe. My heart still beats a little faster when taking a ferry ride up the Amalfi Coast…the tiny houses and hotels perched on the hillsides-sweet ! The bus or car rides along the impossibly narrow coast also make my heart beat faster but for a different reason. I still enjoy the parade of incredibly fashionable men who can confidently wear scarves for no reason other than their passionate style. I love being a train ride away from one of the oldest civilizations in the world. And on a more practical level, I love being able to have a semi-intelligent conversation on the phone with the locals. Seeing an Italian phone number on my screen still makes my heart race a little from fear, but the inevitability of learning a few new words not from a grammar book is pretty exciting.
Thank you all for following my blog and allowing me to share snippets of my not-so-new Italian life with you. I hope you enjoy them. Open mindedness has been my mantra for every new adventure.
Ciao for now!
Antonia
The featured photo above is from chef Stefania’s veranda. Another photo from chef Stefania’s veranda. Cooking Class in Salerno Ok, readers. If you’re even THINKING about making any of these recipes, try not to eat anything for at least 24 hours before. Yes, they are that dense. One portion of the lasagna alone is enough for two days of nutrition. This is a cooking class I took several months ago when I first moved
Maria Grazie, proud proprietaria… We All Don’t Cook OK, readers, not everyone in Italy cooks ALL the time. Some of us have better things to do…like hope our newfound friends will invite us to their place for the authentic stuff. And if I say a really serious novena, they’ll have air conditioning. Unlikely, but I can always hope. (lack of air conditioning and ice are a whole other topic here in Italy.) Long ago and
The featured photo above looks like a Duomo but no, it’s The Gesu Church. The entry to the University campus in Napoli. Reasons for Dual Citizenship Ciao amici ! I’m happy to report I received much positive feedback on the last blog about why I moved to Salerno Italy. Thank you all, and especially to those of you who are interested in obtaining your Dual Citizenship (herein referred to as DC, because, well, I’m lazy…and
I have been fortunate enough to convince my good friend, since the first grade, Antonia, to become a guest blogger on the site. Antonia recently, ( mid May 2019 to be exact) received her Italian Citizenship. It’s been a long an grueling process from what she tells me. But lucky for us she is going to give us first hand information on the process and her exploits as an American woman that moved to Italy.
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